I'm so excited!

I can't believe the ways in which God works. It seems like every challenge i have come across with coming back to Estes Park, God has just met and blessed me through. When i was worried about if i would have work, my old jobs took me back. When i was worried about if my closest friends would be here, God built and added to the friendships that i did have here, when i was worried about places to stay, God provided. I cant help but to feel so blessed and taken care of. And i know i don't deserve it at all and i'm so excited to see how God is working and to move forward with what He wants for my life.

So, i have finally decided what i want to do and what i want to go to school for. I want to get my teaching degree with a minor or double major in psychology. I want to work with elementary school kids and build into who they will become. I'm looking forward to hopefully going to school in the fall of 2007. So for right now, i will be checking out different schools, filling out applications, and praying for financial aid.

Otherwise, today we are getting a huge snow storm. They are saying we are getting approx. 2 inches per hour and it will add up by the time its all said and done to 16-24 inches or maybe even more. I was supposed to work today but my boss called and told me not to come in because the weather is so bad. It's not all that bad except i forgot to go to the grocery store to stock up on food and other things for my 2 or so days stuck in the house, but i have neighbors here who have offered whatever i need, which is nice. Also, i dont have snow tires but because of the money i've been making lately and able to save on rent, i may be able to buy them in january. I'm also excited because i get to go and see Candice and Brandon for christmas in south dakota. Hopefully, anyway, if the snow is gone by then.

So things are great lately and i'm just trying to rely on God to lead me in the day to day and the everyday needs that i have.

When things come up

Things have been so great lately, not based on circumstances or necessarily feelings but i think more so on God and who He is and His response to us in time of need. Things have been going so well that most of the time i forget a lot of things that have happened in the recent past. Traumatic things that most of the time i think that are over or that God has delivered me from until they rear their ugly heads. I have to remind myself that most of that didnt happen that long ago and it needs to be dealt with and that its not gone. Im not purposefully trying to stuff things but am just not focused on them. So when it comes up its like, wow i thought i dealt with that and was done with it and then i remember that it wasnt long ago and its ok to hurt, cry, be angry, deal, work through things... But at the same time, with the hurt and confusion and frustration and memories, God is still good, He is good in the hurt, He is good in the happiness and more than anything right now, i just wanna sit at His feet and know Him. I dont want it to be me and him and everyone else that i 'need' around to make my relationship work with Him, but just me and Him. I think im ready for that, ready to take out the middle man. And ready to let Him walk beside me through the hurt and healing. It will be a long process and maybe i just need to remember that when those situations come up that are harder than i thought theyd be, to take a deep breath and look for guidance, look for healing, look for whatever it may be that God may be trying to say to me. And to rely on him to pull me through this... but i do know one thing, i thank him for these situations, because i havent wanted to cling to Him this much in a really long time and i love what He's teaching me.