When things come up

Things have been so great lately, not based on circumstances or necessarily feelings but i think more so on God and who He is and His response to us in time of need. Things have been going so well that most of the time i forget a lot of things that have happened in the recent past. Traumatic things that most of the time i think that are over or that God has delivered me from until they rear their ugly heads. I have to remind myself that most of that didnt happen that long ago and it needs to be dealt with and that its not gone. Im not purposefully trying to stuff things but am just not focused on them. So when it comes up its like, wow i thought i dealt with that and was done with it and then i remember that it wasnt long ago and its ok to hurt, cry, be angry, deal, work through things... But at the same time, with the hurt and confusion and frustration and memories, God is still good, He is good in the hurt, He is good in the happiness and more than anything right now, i just wanna sit at His feet and know Him. I dont want it to be me and him and everyone else that i 'need' around to make my relationship work with Him, but just me and Him. I think im ready for that, ready to take out the middle man. And ready to let Him walk beside me through the hurt and healing. It will be a long process and maybe i just need to remember that when those situations come up that are harder than i thought theyd be, to take a deep breath and look for guidance, look for healing, look for whatever it may be that God may be trying to say to me. And to rely on him to pull me through this... but i do know one thing, i thank him for these situations, because i havent wanted to cling to Him this much in a really long time and i love what He's teaching me.